I absolutely cannot help it - despite the solid knock on my ass that this city handed to me just over five years ago - I am still in love. New York is an energy. New York is a city of complete assh*les. New York is an unforgiving patron of cynicism and neglect. I do find myself in love here.
As I drink the 6th, perhaps 7th?, glass of red wine and an apartment humming with window air-conditioners and occasional African Grey squawks, I am shamelessly admitting my long lost admiration for metropolitan life. The McDonald's down the street serves McVeggies - a vegetarian alternative. The local department stores sell 80.00 tops at a 30.00 price-tag. The dogs bark with an accent. The pizza guy says have a nice night the same way someone in Indy says "f*ck you!" Table after table is buzzing with political discussion and cerebral intellect. I, myself, had an argument today about who was TOO liberal!Sometimes I get here... and I'm home.
Other times, like now... I'm so far away. I think about my friends and family back home - and as one friend puts it... I get mushy. But I cannot help it. In the last year I have built this network of people that are unlike any network I've ever had. Instead of having 1 or 2 people understand me - I have 10 - 20... and of those I have 4 - 5 who I really find myself missing on a daily basis. You ask my family here and they want to dive into some psychoanalytical debate about why I feel that way... but the bottom line is that I do. I miss my friends. I miss my pseudo-family. I know that a lot of people "find their other half" in a husband or a wife.... but - for the present - I find the best part of me reflected in the people I'm around. And to that end, I hope to someday have the chance to show off my city... lol - listen to me.... "my city..." .... THIS city. I hope to someday show them this magical city of dirt, grime, creative energy, hope, despair, great f*cking pizza/coffee/bagels/art, hate, love, etc...... I miss them - I bring them here in my heart. That's how I roll.
- Kat
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