Tuesday, March 27, 2012

1 am.

If you've ever felt as though you're losing your mind - then we have a little something in common. It is nearly 1 am and I've yet to get a wink of sleep.  Last night was a 3 hour slumber... Things do not look good to tonight to be any different.  And in the midst of it, I'm going insane - as in literally watching myself from behind a pane of glass just make error after error after error.  What's more - I cannot seem to stop.

Do you know what to do?  Because honestly, advise would be wonderful. 

And if you say "take a deep breathe" - I may punch you.  Do you know how many deep breathes I have taken.  How many "counting to ten" moments I've had.  Doesn't help.

You know how they tell you when you're young to be honest.  It's horse shit.  Honesty only hurts to say half as much as it hurts to see people react. Or not react, I suppose.

And so I'm in a holding pattern going insane.  Watching myself from behind my glass wall.  Knowing that in my heart if the feelings I have are true, they will sustain and be patient - but 150% unable to tell my brain the same.  React! React! React!!!! 

I am a fool among fools with what I think is about to be a severe blow to my emotional ego.  Good stuff, right?  Sigh.